Friday Funnies

A scene .....from our ...favorite movie....ever...."Blazing Saddles".



And then.....fast forward......."Blazing Obama"

Friday Funnies

Charlie Brown's ..........Revenge!

This is really funny.....Sent to me from my daughter,  Madison.

From an episode of "Family Guy"  .....How did we manage to miss this classic?


Enjoy:

Friday Night Humor

Sent to us........From my brother-in-law......Larry.....

Enjoy:

Sad custody case...see below.

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Clarke County, GA courtroom drama Monday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Georgia Bulldogs whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Halloween Funnies...

It's October......so ....it must be near Halloween....

From GaPeach913.....

Enjoy:

MY EX-WIFE THE PILOT

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started, and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her.

The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error. She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating).

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.



She was really lucky.

Happy Halloween

Funny Stuff..........on a Thursday.

Tonto....and the Lone Ranger....

Had some interesting conversations as they traveled through the rugged west........

This was sent to me........from .......my mother.

Enjoy.....


The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?'

The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'

'You dumber than buffalo s**t. It means someone stole the damn tent.’

Friday Funnies

A little humor........on an early Friday.....

+——————- Bizarre Facts ——————–+

Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!

The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!

Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels
with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces
after eating!

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a
restaurant is considered an insult!

One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year!

The names of Popeye’s four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye,
Pupeye, and Poopeye!

[From strangefacts.com]

Too.....Much....."Stuff"

Too much.........."stuff".......



Just in my bedroom.....just now........I just counted..........six clocks!

Or.......six fixtures or appliances or apparatuses.........where I can find out what time it is.

(1) My trusted bedside alarm clock....(2) a ship shaped desk clock my daughter gave me.....(3) My TV........(4) My desktop computer (from which I'm typing) .......(5) My company issued laptop......and...........(6) My cell phone.

Why ......do I.......a simply man.....

Need 6 time pieces?

In one room?

Too much stuff........

Looking beyond my bedroom.......let's just stick with clocks. There's one in the bathroom........and one on the oven........and one on the microwave.......

There is the DVD player and another TV in the family room..........with clocks.....

In another bedroom.....there is also a TV, alarm clock.........

In..........yet another room.....there is a clock........an answering machine........a computer..........

How many clocks is that?

Sixteen...........16.......

Now let's add the three vehicles on the property.......and ........a watch of mine .......and we're up to 20....

Twenty clocks..........

One location.....

Too.....much......stuff...........

So.......your homework assignment is............count your time pieces.......

Do you have...........too much........stuff?

Testimonials.......think...before you....speak.....

From our own.......GaPeach913.....

Enjoy...

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back.

My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and
said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
asked if we needed any help.. < br> I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at
your nuts..'

My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start
behaving 'right now' she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee l ast night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with
my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind
me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands.

It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled
something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a
while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.

I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I
don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse..

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident? This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and
yelled, 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female
news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
were laughing so hard!

Ha ha..........

Why .....I Fly.....First Class

Thanks to GaPeach913........

You guys should all think about upgrading.....on your next flight: